Navigating discussions about intimacy and sex can be a delicate challenge for many couples. Numerous factors can contribute to couples finding themselves in a situation where intimacy has dwindled, such as trust issues post-affair, exhaustion, boredom, and conflicting parenting styles. Understanding the root cause of this shift is vital for couples seeking to rejuvenate their sex life.
Tip: The “silent treatment” is not uncommon when couples cease to have sex. It is one of the most destructive communication styles in a relationship. Stonewalling solves nothing and is a sign that one or both parties may have difficulty expressing their emotions.
Sex is unquestionably one of the most sensitive topics, and even those comfortable discussing personal matters might hesitate when addressing their sex life. This challenge is amplified for couples who have stopped being intimate. Often uncertain about the reasons behind their diminishing sexual connection, these couples may be reluctant to engage in a conversation about it, driven by the fear of potential revelations or the possibility of being replaced.
Tip: Struggles with self-confidence is more common in long term relationships, particularly when couples are not good at providing positive reinforcement.
To assist those hesitant to initiate this conversation, here is a “Top 10” The most common reasons couples find themselves in a sexual lull. By reviewing this list, you may gain insights into what might be affecting your own relationship. Armed with this awareness, I encourage you to open up a dialogue with your partner because maintaining silence about sexual matters only perpetuates the issue.
Note: Couples counselling provides a safe space for uncomfortable conversations.
Top 10 reasons couples experience a decline in their sex life:
1. Fear of hearing undesirable truths, such as concerns about attractiveness or suspicions of infidelity.
2. Transitioning into a business-like partnership, prioritising practical aspects over romance and sexuality.
3. Exhaustion from the demands of work, parenting, and caregiving, leaving little energy for intimacy.
4. Negative body image issues that hinder the desire to be vulnerable with a partner.
5. Discomfort during sex, often associated with aging-related concerns like dryness and pain.
6. Boredom resulting from a lack of novelty and routine in the sexual relationship.
7. Lingering trust issues following an affair, impeding the willingness to be intimate.
8. Poor hygiene and a lack of self-care, self-grooming may affect attraction; this issue makes for a very sensitive discuss.
9. Unresolved anger between partners hindering emotional and physical intimacy.
10. Conflicting parenting styles causing stress in the relationship and impacting couple time.
Addressing these underlying issues is crucial for couples to re-establish a fulfilling and meaningful sexual connection. Openly acknowledging and discussing these challenges allows couples to work towards creating a healthier and more satisfying intimate relationship.
Does a lack of sex cause relationship problems?
Psychologically, if two people are in a committed sexual relationship, going for long periods without sex can cause feelings of hurt or rejection and significantly decrease levels of intimacy and connectedness within the relationship, especially if this issue is ignored or not addressed between the partners.
What is a sexless marriage? A couple who has sex LESS than 10 times per years
It is possible to turn things around… DIPAC 5 Steps to a better more connected relationship over 30 days may be a good starting position: Couples Counselling Services Australia | DIPAC
Please remember DIPAC “Individual” sessions Walk and Talk Therapy, it is called “Eco Therapy” Just write “Ecotherapy” in the notes when you book online. If you are time poor and find it hard to get your walk in, this may be for you. Therapy does not need to be in an office or can be, it’s up to you.