“The Truth about love & modern relationships” Do you feel alone in your relationship?

“The Quality of your relationships is what determines the quality of your life.”

Bonds and connections -Meaning, Wellbeing and Happiness

Needing: Security, Safety, Adventure & Exploration

In your relationship:

Who’s the one more in touch with the fear of losing the other? Who’s the one more in touch with the fear of losing themselves?

Who’s more afraid of abandonment and who’s more afraid of suffocation?

“Survival of the family depends on the happiness of the couple.”

Challenges of relationships:

PAST: Until death do us apart

Dictated by rules, religion provided clear structure and social hierarchy.

“A Patriarchal society” Where men were weak for showing vulnerability, they made the rules and a women’s place was in the home with little to no voice.

This model is centuries old, there are boundaries and clear expectations for males and females. This model is not without its peril.

MODERN: Until love dies

Reconciling security and adventure- Reconciling love and desire

The modern relationship has become one of the greatest challenges in life.

We have much information available to us, we are left burning for answers to what is good and best for the relationship and the family.

Today’s relationships lack boundaries, mutual respect, clearly defined roles, nurturing, connection & resilience.

In a world where most things are disposable your relationship should not be one of them

Bread winner? This is no longer clear.

Who has the right to ask for intimacy, foreplay & sex?

Career has become a priority over partner/family.

“Options and Choices”

Am I happy enough?

Conversations have become the “heart” of relationships, yet they lack honest & deep respectful communication.

Poor communication and misaligned expectations are two of the main reasons many modern relationships fail.

We long for our partner to hear and acknowledge us, we are crying out “be interested in me” “spend time with me.”

What does it mean “Looking for the one?” in the SWIPING/ SCREENAGER CULTURE.

“The Romantic Consumption economy”

Is there really a Soulmate? Or an anxious attachment style?

When you think you have found “The one” It’s all new and shiny, what happens to the modern relationship when the shine becomes matt?

A modern relationship is plagued with fear, insecurity, blame, childhood trauma and rejection.

What is your perspective on long everlasting relationships?

What do you think it takes?

Modern relationships are quick to throw away the relationship/family, with little understanding of the casualties “the children” A childhood changed forever not a redo available to them. Their safe island mum and dad have now become sparring partners for many years ahead.

Is the romantic type of love special?

 3 Primary sexual revolutions:

  1. The advent of contraception
  2. Women empowerment
  3. The Gay Movement

The modern relationship…Where do men fit in? What is their role when women are empowered and told they can do it all?

Why is it, men spend long hours at the office, row boats, bike ride, go to the gym and feel its ok for the modern working women to run the house and care for the babies and children?

Is it the modern relationship also a solo relationship?

Is the modern relationship a every women & man for themselves relationship?  “Selfish”

Modern Relationship Tip: You cannot compare new and shiny sex with existing relationship sex…new & shiny hits your dopamine receptors like a drug, you long for more until it becomes existing sex or relationship sex.

People who chase the new & shiny high, are not deep connection people. These people hold little value for themselves and others…. they are lost, they may mistake sex for being wanted, even loved.

Today, we turn to one person to provide what an entire village once did: a sense of grounding, meaning, and continuity. …

The grand illusion of committed love is that we think our partners are ours. 

Pleasure and connection, there is no other motive -“So it better be good!”

Divorce rates are going up and families are breaking up, we need to learn more about what is going on! If you are ever going to “wing it” it’s not in a marriage or a family.