Communication issues and unrealistic expectations stand out as significant factors leading to the erosion of romantic feelings in relationships. However, there are strategies to halt this decline. Relationships are akin to investments and require dedication, especially within the context of marriage.
Identifying warning signs in a relationship is essential, such as excessive jealousy, frequent deceit, unwarranted criticism, or belittlement from a partner. Another major red flag is a reluctance to compromise; relationships should be a two-way street.
In summary, infidelity can often be resolved with effort. Typically, infidelity occurs when one or both partners neglect the relationship’s needs. People enter relationships for positive feelings and stay when they feel valued. In the 21st century, women, in particular, are less tolerant of partners who neglect the relationship. Therefore, it’s crucial to periodically self-reflect and engage in acts of romance and appreciation.
A valuable tip: If your partner strays from the relationship, it likely stems from feeling consistently undesired, unloved, or undervalued in the relationship or in their childhood. While other factors may contribute to infidelity, it’s vital to focus on mutual effort and attentiveness to each other’s needs.
Additionally, ask your partner directly about their needs in the relationship. This open communication can foster a deeper connection.
A personal reminder: If alcohol consumption exceeds the healthy limit of two standard drinks per day, it may indicate a priority shift away from your partner. Seeking help for personal dependency issues is crucial in such cases.
A word of caution: If your partner has had an affair, and both of you decide to work through it, suggesting an open relationship to rekindle the spark is ill-advised. This can exacerbate feelings of undesirability and undervaluation.
The 21st century offers more choices and fewer established rules, lack of self-management, leading to self-discipline challenges and boundary issues. It’s crucial to understand your desires and prioritise personal happiness. Joy begins and ends with you.
Here are some tips from Dr. John Gottman to improve communication:
1. Recognise the “Four Horsemen” of relationship conflict: Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling. Understanding these patterns is essential for replacing them with healthy communication.
2. Distinguish between expressing a complaint and criticising your partner. Complaints address specific issues, while criticism attacks a partner’s character.
3. Contempt is even more damaging than criticism, as it assumes moral superiority over your partner and belittles them.
4. Avoid defensiveness, which usually backfires by dismissing your partner’s concerns and refusing responsibility.
5. Stonewalling, often a response to contempt, involves withdrawing from the conversation and not engaging with your partner, exacerbating conflicts.
If your relationship is struggling, seek help and be open to learning new ways to communicate. A couple’s counsellor can guide you through this process, but it may take time to build trust and drop defensive walls. Most couples undergo therapy for 6 to 12 weeks, including single and double sessions, with a “Disclosure session” as a crucial starting point. Moving through to the “Reset”. There’s no set timeline for therapy, so be patient with yourself if you’re facing challenges in your relationship.
5 Steps to a deeper connection over 30 days was created to help couples build a more solid foundation for connecting and bonding Couples Counselling Services Australia | DIPAC
Note: Most of us have not had the best role models for modelling effective communication in a relationship.
Reminder: Walk and Talk is back- Connection with nature: Spending time outdoors has proven mental health benefits, including stress reduction, mood improvement, and increased feelings of connectedness and well-being. Walk and talk therapy enables individuals to directly experience these advantages, establishing a deeper connection with the natural world.
It’s important to acknowledge that walk and talk therapy might not suit everyone or all therapeutic needs. Physical limitations might prevent certain individuals from participating, while others may prefer the privacy and structure of a conventional therapy setting.
Counselling Therapy sessions last 60 minutes, while Walk and Talk Therapy offers flexibility. You can opt for a full 60-minute walk or split the session into a 30-minute therapy office session and a 30-minute outdoor segment.
Our walk can be a leisurely stroll or a brisker pace, depending on your preference.
Please note: Weather conditions permitting.