Understanding Coercive Control in Relationships

What is Coercive Control? Many have lived in a relationship for years and thought it was normal.

Under the newly approved reforms, coercive control is now classified as a criminal offence, carrying a maximum penalty of 14 years’ imprisonment. This decision follows in the footsteps of New South Wales, making Queensland the second state in Australia to recognise coercive control as a stand-alone criminal offence.

  • Coercive control, a term prevalent in discussions on domestic abuse, denotes a subtle yet grave form of manipulation and abuse within relationships.
  • It encompasses various tactics, manipulation, and psychological abuse aimed at dominating the victim’s thoughts, emotions, and actions.

Recognising Signs of Coercive Control:

  • Isolation: Victims are often cut off from their support networks, rendering them reliant solely on their partner.
  • Threats: Abusers employ intimidation tactics, instilling fear to maintain control over the victim.
  • Gaslighting: Manipulating reality to make the victim doubt their perception and judgment.
  • Economic Control: Taking charge of finances to foster dependency and hinder escape.

Impacts on Victims:

  • Emotional trauma, health consequences, disempowerment, and difficulties in future relationships are common outcomes of coercive control. Some victims eventually turn to alcohol and substance abuse as a way of self soothing.

Available Support Services:

  • Victims can seek assistance from professionals via the Hotline for guidance and emotional support 1800RESPECT on 1800 737 732 or talk to a Counsellor they can help direct the path forward with you.
  • Seeking aid from loved ones can also provide crucial assistance and emotional solace during such challenging times.

Legal Implications and Prevention Strategies:

  • Legal frameworks vary across states regarding the categorisation and treatment of coercive control.
  • It is crucial to educate oneself on the dynamics of healthy relationships and be vigilant about early warning signs of abuse.
  • Setting and respecting boundaries, taking time to understand potential partners, and avoiding rushing into relationships are pivotal preventive measures.

Additional Information sourced from- https://www.act.gov.au/community/domestic-family-and-sexual-violence/types-of-domestic-and-family-violence#Coercive-control-or-controlling-behaviour

Coercive control or controlling behaviour…

Coercive control is not a separate form of family violence. Each perpetrator’s patterns of behaviour towards victim-survivors is controlling behaviour or ‘coercive control’.

The controlling behaviours can:

  • become more intense over time
  • be used to limit a person’s ability to seek help.

Perpetrators who feel entitled to get their way are more likely to use multiple forms of violence, including sexual violence.

Examples include:

  • isolating someone from their family, friends and community
  • supervising or controlling actions or decisions, for example insisting on knowing the victim-survivor’s location and who they are with
  • limiting access to things like transport and money
  • controlling the victim-survivor’s body and appearance by monitoring things like food, sleep and exercise, or telling them what they can or can’t wear
  • extreme jealousy, criticism and sometimes punishment for alleged ‘failures’.
  • manipulating a person so they feel confused and start to doubt themselves; this is sometimes called ‘gaslighting’
  • denying or minimising a person’s claims of abuse and acts of violence
  • blaming the person for what has happened, claiming they brought it on themselves
  • expressing ownership over family members as a form of control
  • threatening to harm the person, their loved ones, their pets or their belongings if they talk to anyone about their experiences, or seek help
  • threatening self-harm if the person talks about their experiences, or seeks help
  • threatening to take legal action against the person.

Conclusion: Coercive control may manifest subtly, but its detrimental effects on victims are profound. Recognising the signs, seeking support, and implementing preventive strategies are essential steps towards combating this form of abuse in relationships.

What are some of the Traits a Brave Courageous man would demonstrate?

What are the traits of a brave courageous man? Here are some common traits of a brave and courageous man across various aspects of life:

1.     Fatherhood:

  • Nurturing: He actively participates in the upbringing of his children, providing them with love, guidance, and support.
  • Protector: He prioritises the safety and well-being of his children, ensuring they feel secure and loved.
  • Role model: He sets a positive example for his children through his actions, integrity, and values.
  • Communicative: He maintains open and honest communication with his children, fostering trust and understanding.
  • Patient: He demonstrates patience and understanding, even in challenging situations, guiding his children with empathy and compassion.

2.     Husband/Boyfriend:

  • Respectful: He treats his partner with respect, valuing her opinions, feelings, and autonomy.
  • Supportive: He stands by his partner through thick and thin, offering emotional support and encouragement.
  • Communicative: He communicates openly and effectively with his partner, addressing issues and resolving conflicts constructively.
  • Loving: He expresses affection and appreciation for his partner, showing her that she is cherished and valued.
  • Equal partnership: He views his relationship as a partnership, sharing responsibilities and making decisions together.
  • Masculinity: He is strong and brave he will never use his masculinity to create fear in is partner.
  • Vulnerability: He shows his softer side sharing his feelings and seeking help, speaking up when life seems overwhelming.

3.     Professional Life:

  • Dedicated: He is committed to his work and strives for excellence in all his endeavours.
  • Courageous: He takes educated risks when necessary, stepping out of his comfort zone to achieve his goals and pursue opportunities for growth.
  • Integrity: He conducts himself with honesty, ethics, and professionalism, earning the trust and respect of his colleagues.
  • Leadership: He leads by example, inspiring and motivating others through his actions and vision.
  • Resilient: He adapts to challenges and setbacks, learning from failures and using them as opportunities for personal and professional development.

4.     Treatment of Women:

  • Equality: He treats women as equals, recognising and respecting their rights, capabilities, and contributions.
  • Empathy: He empathises with the experiences and perspectives of women, showing compassion and understanding.
  • Supportive: He advocates for women’s rights and empowerment, actively working to dismantle gender stereotypes and inequalities.
  • Consent: He respects women’s boundaries and autonomy, seeking consent in all interactions and relationships.
  • Sexualising: He would use self-management and not waste time scrolling porn sites. He is insightful and acknowledges the disrespect toward women. He knows this activity can be viewed as predatory and cheating.

5.     Anger/Emotion Management:

  • Self-awareness: He is aware of his emotions and triggers, taking proactive steps to manage them effectively.
  • Control: He exercises self-control and restraint, avoiding impulsive reactions and responding to situations calmly and rationally. He learns how to self-manage without using alcohol or substances to self-medicate and push down undealt with feelings and experiences. They seek help before their trauma’s bleed over their loved ones creating generational trauma.
  • Healthy outlets: He channels his emotions into constructive activities such as exercise, meditation, creative pursuits or counselling.
  • Seeking help: He is not afraid to seek support from loved ones or professionals if he struggles with managing his anger or emotions.

6.     Alcohol and Drugs:

  • Moderation: He practices moderation and responsible consumption when it comes to alcohol, avoiding excessive drinking. He knows a drunk man demonstrates an unmanaged unpredictable man.
  • Abstinence: He refrains from using drugs or substances that may impair his judgment, health or hinder his responsibilities as a man, husband or father.
  • Awareness: He educates himself about the risks and consequences of substance abuse, making informed decisions to prioritise his well-being and that of his loved ones.

7.     Money Management:

  • Financial responsibility: He manages his finances wisely, budgeting and saving for the future while living within his means.
  • Planning: He sets financial goals and develops strategies to achieve them, whether it’s saving for retirement, buying a home, or funding his children’s education.
  • Transparency: He communicates openly with his family about financial matters, involving them in decision-making and teaching them about money management.
  • Generosity: He is generous with his resources, but also mindful of balancing generosity with fiscal prudence and long-term financial stability.

2008 Was Not Just About The Financial Crisis

Business Landscape: Navigating the Terrain of Internet Exposure

In the ever-evolving digital era, the landscape of business has been reshaped by a confluence of factors. Notably, the year 2008 not only marked the onset of a financial crisis but also served as a pivotal year for the burgeoning realm of social media. This digital revolution has propelled businesses into a realm of heightened exposure, demanding a re-evaluation of strategies regarding brand management and online presence.

The burgeoning popularity of employee review platforms underscores the imperative for all employers, especially Small and Medium Enterprises (SMEs). Family businesses often do not have the knowledge to proactively address their digital footprint as their operations expand. Engaging a Business Coach can help you to close the gaps in your business.

Brochure and Testimonials https://tinyurl.com/u9xwmj9z 

Recent years have witnessed a profound shift in power dynamics within workplaces. The emergence of the internet and social media has catalysed a culture of transparency, compelling organisations to reckon with newfound scrutiny. Platforms like www.Seek.com.au and www.glassdoor.com.au empower both current and former employees to voice candid assessments of their employers. This phenomenon poses significant challenges for businesses, as feedback, often anonymous, remains beyond the realm of employer control. Research indicates that a substantial majority of job-seekers evaluate an employer’s brand before applying for a position, with a significant portion relying on social media platforms for further insights.

A recent engagement with a Sydney-based business exemplifies the urgency of addressing workplace culture and turnover rates. In Australia, the average turnover rate hovers around fifteen percent, with a notable spike to over twenty-three percent within twelve months. This particular company grappled with a turnover rate exceeding thirty percent, exacerbating their struggle to attract and retain top-tier talent, a cornerstone of sustainable growth.

A diagnostic ‘brand’ scan revealed a trove of negative feedback on platforms like Glassdoor.com, unbeknown to the management team. Employees and former staff had been voicing grievances regarding both managerial conduct and workplace culture, underscoring the disconnect between perception and reality for the executive leadership.

Many businesses, particularly SMEs, remain oblivious to the influence wielded by these feedback platforms, to their detriment. Damage to brand reputation unfolds surreptitiously, impeding the recruitment of high-caliber candidates and perpetuating a cycle of negative reviews.

Beyond monetary incentives, businesses must prioritise holistic approaches encompassing management practices, employee support, training, and retention strategies. Cultivating a workplace culture conducive to positive employee testimonials necessitates concerted efforts to foster genuine engagement and open communication channels.

Navigating online criticism demands a delicate balance of responsiveness and humility. Executives must demonstrate a genuine commitment to improvement while leveraging internal platforms such as intranets to pre-emptively address concerns and foster a culture of transparency.

Encouraging current employees to share their experiences on review sites not only fosters trust but also enhances internal cohesion. However, vigilance is paramount, as mining these platforms for actionable insights remains essential for continuous improvement.

In conclusion, businesses must expand their purview beyond customer-centric reviews and acknowledge the significance of employee feedback platforms. Embracing this multifaceted approach is indispensable for safeguarding brand reputation and fostering a workplace culture conducive to sustained success in the digital age.

Navigating Sexual Boundaries in Marriage: Understanding Consent and Recognising Abuse

In recent times, I’ve had an increasing number of conversations with women who are grappling with sexual abuse within their marriages. Many express feeling pressured into sexual acts they are uncomfortable with, a situation that should never be tolerated within a loving partnership.

Stories range from being woken up in the dead of night by a partner’s unwanted persistent advances to enduring public groping or inappropriate touching of personal body parts. Each tale underscores a critical point: in any relationship, the word “NO” must be respected unequivocally.

Marriage does not grant license to exploit a partner’s body for one’s own gratification. Yet, with the rise of pornography consumption among men, women are often coerced into performing acts they find distressing. Some comply out of fear of losing their spouse or disrupting their family unit.

The blurred lines between romantic intimacy and selfish sexual indulgence are alarming. If sexual activity occurs without consent, it constitutes sexual assault—a fact that cannot be overlooked.

Sexual violence within intimate partnerships, whether marriage or dating, is regrettably common. It serves as a tool of control and abuse, perpetuating cycles of domestic or familial violence. Unwanted kissing or touching, aggressive sexual behaviour, and reproductive coercion are just a few examples of such abuse.

The term “sexual misconduct” encompasses a spectrum of behaviours, including harassment, non-consensual contact, penetration, and exploitation. At the heart of this issue lies the fundamental concept of consent.

Consent is not a one-time transaction; it must be sought and given for each sexual encounter. It should be enthusiastic, voluntary, and free from coercion. Mere submission does not equate to consent, nor does past agreement imply ongoing permission.

The repercussions of sexual violence in a relationship are profound. Survivors often grapple with fear, shame, anxiety, and self-blame. They may experience sexual dysfunction, insomnia, or stress-related symptoms, compounding their emotional turmoil.

Moreover, survivors face additional hurdles, such as fear of retaliation, financial dependence, and concerns for the safety of loved ones (in particular their children). These barriers can hinder disclosure and recognition of the abuse as criminal behaviour.

Despite the challenges, speaking out about sexual violence is crucial. It validates survivors’ experiences and underscores the seriousness of the issue. By fostering open dialogue and promoting mutual respect, couples can cultivate healthier, more equitable relationships.

In conclusion, within the sanctity of marriage, consent is non-negotiable, and abuse in any form must be addressed. Let us strive to create partnerships built on trust, communication, and mutual respect, where every individual’s bodily autonomy is honoured and upheld.

Signs of sexual frustration:

Signs You’re Sexually Frustrated & 10 Ways to Cope (choosingtherapy.com)