Couples Therapy Essentials: An open and receptive mindset is key to unlocking growth and healing

In the journey of couples therapy, having an open and receptive mindset is key to unlocking growth and healing. Here’s what you need to know to embark on this transformative experience:

  • Rediscovering Each Other: There’s profound fulfilment in witnessing couples transition from criticism to praise. Progress is evident when emotions flow, and tears are shed, signifying a breakthrough in understanding and empathy. This is evident in our bonding sessions.
  • A Holistic Approach: As therapists, we are not just working with couples; we are mindful of the ripple effects on their children. Imagine a home where parental arguments don’t prompt door-slamming but rather moments of shared affection and cooperation. Every child deserves this nurturing environment.

Crucial aspects for couples aiming to strengthen their relationship and enhance their parenting journey:

  1. Modelling Healthy Relationships: Children learn by example. Maintaining a loving relationship sets a positive model for their future relationships.
  2. Prioritise Your Marriage: Amidst parenting demands, carve out time for each other. Regular date nights, open communication, hobbies, shared interests and intimacy keep the marital bond resilient. Tip: living in a marriage is very different to living a single life
  3. Emotional Connection: Nurture emotional intimacy by showing interest, responsiveness, and expressing affection and appreciation.
  4. Conflict Resolution Skills: Conflict is inevitable, but constructive communication is key. Practice active listening and use “I” statements to navigate disagreements.
  5. Support Each Other as Parents: Share responsibilities, make decisions together, and offer emotional support during tough times. Unity in parenting strengthens the marital bond.

A strong and healthy marital relationship isn’t just about the couple; it’s the cornerstone of effective parenting. Prioritising your marriage and maintaining emotional connection and effective communication create a nurturing environment for both your relationship and your children. Remember, love and self-management all start at home.

5 Tips to Help You Manage Yourself in Conflict:

In many relationships, I hear statements like “when he yells, I shut down” or “when she criticises me, I leave.” There are many reasons why couples disagree on a subjects they are discussing; we are human, we will have differences of opinion.

  1. Recognise the Rub for You: Identify the situations, behaviours, or topics that tend to make your body twitch. Understanding your triggers can help you anticipate and better manage your responses when they arise.
  2. Communicate Effectively: Practice open and honest communication with your partner. Instead of lashing out in anger, express your feelings calmly and assertively. Use “I” statements to express how you feel without blaming or accusing your partner. Tone is very important; keep your voice soft and low.
    Tip: Inside every grown-up man and woman is a happy or sad little boy or girl with a story. Most of the time, people will fight from a place within them that was hurt at some point, and maybe they don’t know why they get so angry so quickly?
  3. Take a Time-Out: When you feel yourself getting angry, take a break from the situation. Step away, take a few deep breaths, or engage in a calming activity to help you regain your composure. This allows you to approach the issue with a clearer mind and avoid saying or doing something you might regret later. If you need to take some time out, let the other person know that you are taking some time, but you will be back.
  4. Use Problem-Solving Skills: Instead of focusing on placing blame, work together with your partner to find solutions to the underlying issues. Practice problem-solving skills such as brainstorming ideas, compromising, and finding common ground. Focus on the problem, not the person.
  5. Seek Professional Help: If anger issues persist and negatively impact your relationship, consider seeking help from a Counselling Therapist. They can provide you with additional coping strategies and support to better manage your emotions and improve your relationship.

Understanding Coercive Control in Relationships

What is Coercive Control? Many have lived in a relationship for years and thought it was normal.

Under the newly approved reforms, coercive control is now classified as a criminal offence, carrying a maximum penalty of 14 years’ imprisonment. This decision follows in the footsteps of New South Wales, making Queensland the second state in Australia to recognise coercive control as a stand-alone criminal offence.

  • Coercive control, a term prevalent in discussions on domestic abuse, denotes a subtle yet grave form of manipulation and abuse within relationships.
  • It encompasses various tactics, manipulation, and psychological abuse aimed at dominating the victim’s thoughts, emotions, and actions.

Recognising Signs of Coercive Control:

  • Isolation: Victims are often cut off from their support networks, rendering them reliant solely on their partner.
  • Threats: Abusers employ intimidation tactics, instilling fear to maintain control over the victim.
  • Gaslighting: Manipulating reality to make the victim doubt their perception and judgment.
  • Economic Control: Taking charge of finances to foster dependency and hinder escape.

Impacts on Victims:

  • Emotional trauma, health consequences, disempowerment, and difficulties in future relationships are common outcomes of coercive control. Some victims eventually turn to alcohol and substance abuse as a way of self soothing.

Available Support Services:

  • Victims can seek assistance from professionals via the Hotline for guidance and emotional support 1800RESPECT on 1800 737 732 or talk to a Counsellor they can help direct the path forward with you.
  • Seeking aid from loved ones can also provide crucial assistance and emotional solace during such challenging times.

Legal Implications and Prevention Strategies:

  • Legal frameworks vary across states regarding the categorisation and treatment of coercive control.
  • It is crucial to educate oneself on the dynamics of healthy relationships and be vigilant about early warning signs of abuse.
  • Setting and respecting boundaries, taking time to understand potential partners, and avoiding rushing into relationships are pivotal preventive measures.

Additional Information sourced from-

Coercive control or controlling behaviour…

Coercive control is not a separate form of family violence. Each perpetrator’s patterns of behaviour towards victim-survivors is controlling behaviour or ‘coercive control’.

The controlling behaviours can:

  • become more intense over time
  • be used to limit a person’s ability to seek help.

Perpetrators who feel entitled to get their way are more likely to use multiple forms of violence, including sexual violence.

Examples include:

  • isolating someone from their family, friends and community
  • supervising or controlling actions or decisions, for example insisting on knowing the victim-survivor’s location and who they are with
  • limiting access to things like transport and money
  • controlling the victim-survivor’s body and appearance by monitoring things like food, sleep and exercise, or telling them what they can or can’t wear
  • extreme jealousy, criticism and sometimes punishment for alleged ‘failures’.
  • manipulating a person so they feel confused and start to doubt themselves; this is sometimes called ‘gaslighting’
  • denying or minimising a person’s claims of abuse and acts of violence
  • blaming the person for what has happened, claiming they brought it on themselves
  • expressing ownership over family members as a form of control
  • threatening to harm the person, their loved ones, their pets or their belongings if they talk to anyone about their experiences, or seek help
  • threatening self-harm if the person talks about their experiences, or seeks help
  • threatening to take legal action against the person.

Conclusion: Coercive control may manifest subtly, but its detrimental effects on victims are profound. Recognising the signs, seeking support, and implementing preventive strategies are essential steps towards combating this form of abuse in relationships.

Burnout V Depression how do we know the difference?

Burnout typically stems from prolonged workplace stress, marked by feelings of exhaustion, cynicism, and a sense of ineffectiveness. It often arises due to extended periods of work overload, lack of control, and inadequate support within the workplace. Individuals experiencing burnout may find themselves emotionally drained, physically depleted, and disengaged from their work.

In contrast, depression is a mental health condition characterised by persistent feelings of sadness, hopelessness, and a loss of interest or pleasure in daily activities. Its impact extends beyond the workplace and can be influenced by a mix of genetic, biological, environmental, and psychological factors.

Although burnout and depression share symptoms like fatigue and emotional exhaustion, depression encompasses a broader range of indicators, including changes in appetite, disruptions in sleep patterns, and thoughts of self-harm or suicide.

Managing burnout often involves implementing strategies to enhance work-life balance, setting boundaries, seeking support, and adopting stress management techniques. Treatment for depression may entail therapy, medication, lifestyle adjustments, and assistance from mental health professionals

Recognising the nuances between burnout and depression is crucial for providing appropriate intervention and support to those affected. This understanding enables employers, healthcare providers, and individuals themselves to effectively address and manage these conditions.

Checkout this YouTube for further insights from Physiatrist Dr Tracey Marks

Feeling down? Let us talk about depression. Are you or someone you know experiencing a heavy heart? You are not alone. Depression, often described as a deep sadness, affects many of us. It is more than just feeling blue during tough times; it can linger for weeks, months, or even years. But with support, healing is possible.

What is Depression? Depression is a persistent sadness that can last for extended periods. Sometimes, we may not even realise we are carrying it, or we may avoid discussing it. But it is crucial to know that like a long night, depression can eventually pass. With the right help, you can begin the journey towards a brighter life.

What Causes Depression? Various factors can trigger depression, such as:

  • Difficult life events like the loss of a loved one or unemployment.
  • Prolonged struggles like financial difficulties or troubled relationships.
  • Family history of depression, which may increase the likelihood of experiencing it.
  • Personal differences, as some individuals may be more prone to depression.
  • Substance abuse, which can both cause and exacerbate depression.

Recognising Depression in Our Family and Community: Signs and symptoms may include:

  • Persistent feelings of sadness or emptiness.
  • Loss of interest in activities once enjoyed.
  • Fatigue, lack of energy, or motivation.
  • Irritability or outbursts of anger.
  • Increased alcohol or drug use.
  • Changes in appetite or weight.
  • Sleep disturbances.
  • Feelings of worthlessness or guilt.
  • Restlessness or slowed movements.
  • Difficulty concentrating or making decisions.
  • Thoughts of death or suicide.

While occasional feelings of sadness are normal, depression involves prolonged and debilitating symptoms that interfere with daily life.

Reaching Out for Help: If you or someone you know is struggling, do not hesitate to seek support:

  • Talk to someone you trust, whether it is a friend, family member, counsellor, coach, or spiritual/religious leader.
  • Consult a healthcare professional who can assess your situation and provide appropriate guidance.
  • Consider treatment options such as therapy, medication, community support programs, or lifestyle changes. CBT -Cognitive Behavioural Therapy
  • Prioritise self-care by engaging in activities that promote well-being, such as exercise, healthy eating, and relaxation and getting around good role models.

Remember, if you are in crisis or having thoughts of self-harm, reach out for immediate help. You are not alone, and support is available.

Together, we can overcome the shadow of depression and walk towards the light.

What can Anxiety look like?

Understanding Anxiety

Anxiety can be triggered by a multitude of concerns, spanning from personal relationships to various environments like home, school, or work. It is a common experience, affecting individuals across different communities. This condition manifests differently for everyone.

Anxiety can manifest in various ways:

  • Feeling nervous, restless, or tense
  • Sensing impending danger or panic
  • Increased heart rate
  • Rapid breathing (hyperventilation)
  • Sweating
  • Trembling
  • Fatigue or weakness
  • Difficulty concentrating or focusing on anything other than worries
  • Sleep disturbances
  • Gastrointestinal problems
  • Difficulty controlling worry
  • Avoidance of triggers for anxiety
  • Perceived trouble swallowing and tight lumpy throat

Recognising these symptoms is crucial, and it is important to acknowledge and address anxiety. By understanding the factors that contribute to anxiety and utilising appropriate coping mechanisms, we can work towards alleviating its impact on our well-being.

A life of peace should be the goal QOL matters

I cannot manage myself!

In the fabric of Western culture, the threads of drinking and drug use are intricately woven, creating a tapestry of societal norms and individual behaviours. However, it’s time we unravel the distinctions we make between these substances and confront the reality that both are forms of drugs with their own implications.

Alcohol, often treated as a socially acceptable indulgence, is just one variant in the spectrum of drugs. Yet, why do we separate it from other substances like cocaine or LSD in our conversations? Perhaps it’s because alcohol carries a veneer of acceptance, associated with affluence, maturity, romance and relaxation. But let’s not be fooled: whether it’s a glass of wine or a line of cocaine, they all alter our perceptions and behaviours.

As a society blessed with abundance and freedom, it’s perplexing that we find ourselves trapped in cycles of self-destructive behaviour, passing these patterns from one generation to the next. We begin with the rite of passage at 18, legally allowed to drink, and from there, it’s a journey of choices, often influenced by societal norms and personal inclinations.

Some can have a single drink and be satisfied, while others find themselves spiralling into excessive consumption, sometimes combining alcohol with other drugs. We’ve cloaked these behaviours in terms like “recreational drugs” and “social drinking,” but the consequences remain the same.

The allure of escapism seems to be a common thread, whether it’s the teenager succumbing to peer pressure or the high-powered professional seeking relief from stress and responsibility. Yet, beneath this desire to escape lies a complex web of factors: low confidence, self-esteem, coping mechanisms, and the eternal quest for belonging and purpose.

But let’s not attribute this solely to individual traits or societal pressures. The interplay of wealth, upbringing, and learned behaviours cannot be overlooked. Do those in affluent circles have better coping mechanisms, or are they simply more adept at masking their struggles? And how much do our parents’ behaviours shape our own attitudes towards drugs and alcohol?

Across generations, we find ourselves repeating the same patterns, mistakes often seeking blame externally, whether it’s directed at the government or societal norms. Yet, as the saying goes, repeating the same actions and expecting different results is the epitome of insanity.

Is it time to confront the reality that our excuses for indulging in substances are merely masks for deeper issues? Whether it’s the need to relax, blow off steam, or fit into social circles, these justifications only serve to perpetuate the cycle of dependency and harm.

When do you acknowledge that perhaps you cannot manage yourself?

If a person is incapable of managing themselves, would it be fair to assume they should not be put in a position to manage others, whether it be in business or in a family?

But change is possible. If we plant different roots—rooted in self-discipline, self-awareness, and compassion—we can harvest a different future. It won’t be easy, and it will require consistent effort, but the rewards are immeasurable.

So, let’s be kind to ourselves and each other as we navigate this journey called life. We may not have all the answers, but by challenging ingrained behaviours and societal norms, we can pave the way for a healthier, more fulfilling existence. After all, life is a long burn, and it’s up to us to decide how brightly we shine and how our actions impact those around us.

If you are struggling to manage yourself and you are finding that you are consistently hurting you and those around you please reach out for help.

Please have a listen to the experts and make a good decision for you and your family.

I’m a fan of Huberman & Dr Amen   “Alcohol Is Worse For You Than You Think” – Andrew Huberman (

The Ugly Truth About Alcohol’s Effect On Your Brain. | Dr Daniel Amen (

Navigating the Course of Anxiety is a Journey

avigating the complex terrain of anxiety is a crucial aspect of our quest for mental wellness. Understanding this condition and acquiring effective strategies to manage it can significantly enhance our well-being. Here, I offer some valuable insights and techniques to aid you on this journey.

Anxiety, characterised by its fluctuating intensity, can often present challenges in daily life. Recognising its natural ebb and flow empowers individuals to better manage their symptoms. Identifying triggers, whether they stem from external stressors or internal negative thoughts, is pivotal in preparing for and navigating anxiety-provoking situations.

Cognitive-behavioural techniques, such as cognitive restructuring and exposure therapy, provide effective tools for challenging irrational thoughts and gradually confronting feared situations. Additionally, lifestyle modifications play a significant role in anxiety management. Prioritising regular exercise, sufficient sleep, balanced nutrition, and stress-relieving activities like mindfulness or meditation fosters overall well-being.

While medication may not always be necessary, it can be beneficial for severe or debilitating anxiety. Collaboration with a psychiatrist is essential to explore medication options and determine the most suitable treatment approach. Seeking professional support from mental health professionals, whether through therapy with a counsellor or consultation with a psychiatrist, can provide valuable guidance and support on the journey to recovery.

In addition to seeking professional assistance, there are several self-help strategies that individuals can implement to manage their anxiety effectively. These include practicing deep breathing and relaxation techniques, incorporating mindfulness and meditation into daily routines, and identifying triggers to develop coping strategies. It’s also crucial to challenge negative thoughts and set realistic goals to boost confidence and reduce feelings of overwhelm.

Maintaining a balanced lifestyle, seeking support from friends and family, and practicing self-compassion are essential components of anxiety management. Creating a relaxation routine, engaging in pleasurable activities, and focusing on the present moment can also help reduce stress and promote well-being.

Remember, managing anxiety is a journey, and it’s perfectly okay to seek professional help if you’re struggling to cope on your own. A therapist can provide personalized strategies and support to help you navigate through difficult times. By understanding anxiety and implementing effective techniques, you can cultivate resilience and reclaim control over your life.

Remember: that, that we resist, will persist…

Trauma and Stress are among the primary underlying causes of Anger, Addiction and Alcoholism

Unresolved emotional pain and trauma are often at the root of addiction and people often use substances such as alcohol to self-medicate and numb their pain. Note that alcoholism is not simply a matter of willpower or a lack of self-control, but rather a complex interplay of genetic, environmental, and psychological factors.

Unresolved anger can also be a factor in addiction and alcoholism. Anger can arise from unmet emotional needs, such as the need for love, respect, or validation. When these needs are not met, people may turn to substances such as alcohol to ease their emotional pain and dampen their anger.

Alcoholism, anger, and trauma are interrelated, treating addiction requires a holistic approach that addresses the underlying emotional pain and trauma.

What is needed: compassion, empathy, and understanding in treating addiction and mental health issues?

Alcoholic parents can have a significant impact on the family and children, both in the short and long term. The effects can range from emotional and psychological to social and behavioural, and can vary depending on the severity of the parent’s alcoholism and the child’s age.

Here are some potential effects of having an alcoholic parent:

1.     Emotional and Psychological Effects: Children of alcoholic parents may experience feelings of fear, guilt, shame, and low self-esteem. They may also suffer from anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues. Children may also feel neglected or abandoned by their parents, leading to feelings of resentment and anger. As you know I have a keen focus on Childhood Trauma in Adults because if left untreated, traumatised adults may not be living their best life or being their best selves for their partner or children.

2.     Behavioural Effects: Children of alcoholic parents may also exhibit behavioural problems such as aggression, withdrawal, and social isolation. They may struggle with school performance, have trouble making friends, and engage in risky behaviours. These children may become troubled teenagers and troubled partners. Children are very good intakes of information however very poor interpreters. Note: Their body’s keep the score of trauma and the body may not feel peaceful. (the slinky effect)

3.     Social Effects: The behaviour of an alcoholic parent can affect the family’s social and economic well-being. Children may be exposed to violence or abuse in the home, which can lead to social stigma and isolation. In addition, the family’s financial resources may be depleted due to the cost of alcohol or treatment for the parent.

4.     Long-Term Effects: Children of alcoholic parents may be at a higher risk of developing alcoholism or other substance abuse problems themselves later in life. They may also struggle with trust issues, intimacy, and relationships.

It is important to note that not all children of alcoholic parents will experience all of these effects, and some may be more resilient than others. However, it is important for parents, caregivers, and mental health professionals to be aware of the potential impact of alcoholism on children and to provide support and resources to help them cope with the challenges they may face.

Note: One of the biggest challenges Counsellors are facing in the 21st century: The behaviours of the Adults with Alcohol Spectrum Disorder or raised by an alcoholic in a home of fight or flight;

What are the symptoms of FASD? Children

  • Slow fetal growth and low birth weight.
  • Alcohol withdrawal symptoms in newborns (such as high-pitched cry, jitteriness, and seizures)
  • Sleep and sucking problems in infancy.
  • Abnormalities of the face (such as small eyes and thin mouth)
  • Shorter height than other children of the same age.However, many do not have obvious physical abnormalities. Sometimes behaviour is the best indicator coupled with a full patient history.

    What Happens When Children with Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorders Become Adults? – PMC (

  • Adults with FASD:
  • Adults with FASDs have a high rates of psychiatric and personality disorders, problems with drugs and alcohol, and difficulties with the law. They are also less likely to obtain a degree, have stable employment, and live independently.

Overcoming addiction is based on the understanding that addiction is not just a physical problem but also a psychological, social, and spiritual one. In order to heal from addiction, it is important to address the underlying emotional pain and trauma that often lead to addictive behaviours.

Here is a few tips for overcoming addiction

1.     Understanding the root causes of addiction: Addiction is often a response to trauma and emotional pain. Therefore, understanding the underlying reasons for addictive behaviour is crucial to healing.

2.     Building healthy relationships: The importance of healthy relationships in addiction recovery. I believe that having supportive, non-judgmental relationships can help people heal from emotional pain and trauma.

3.     Developing self-awareness and mindfulness: Developing self-awareness and mindfulness can help people recognise their triggers for addictive behaviour and learn new ways of coping.

4.     Practicing self-compassion: I encourage people to be kind and compassionate to themselves as they navigate the challenges of addiction recovery. Self-compassion can help people build resilience and overcome setbacks.

5.     Seeking professional support: Seek professional support from addiction specialists, therapists, and other mental health professionals who can provide guidance and support in addiction recovery is crucial.

Overall, I emphasise the importance of treating addiction holistically, by addressing the emotional, social, and spiritual aspects of the problem. With the right support, many people can heal from addiction and build fulfilling, healthy lives.

What is waiting for you on the other side?

Overcoming addiction can have a positive impact on all aspects of your life, including your physical health, mental health, relationships, and overall well-being. Here are some examples of what your life could look like if you successfully overcome addiction:

1.     Improved physical health: Overcoming addiction can have a positive impact on your physical health. You may have more energy, feel better physically, and have a stronger immune system. You may also experience fewer health problems related to substance abuse, such as liver damage or heart disease.

2.     Better mental health: Addiction can take a toll on your mental health, leading to anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues. Overcoming addiction can improve your mental health and well-being, leading to greater happiness and a more positive outlook on life.

3.     Improved relationships: Addiction can strain relationships with friends, family, and loved ones. Overcoming addiction can help repair these relationships and build stronger, healthier connections with the people around you.

4.     Greater sense of purpose: Overcoming addiction can help you find a greater sense of purpose and meaning in life. You may feel more motivated to pursue your goals and passions and to contribute to the world around you.

5.     Financial stability: Addiction can be expensive and can take a toll on your finances. Overcoming addiction can help you save money and build financial stability.

Overall, overcoming addiction can have a transformative effect on your life, helping you to build a healthier, happier, and more fulfilling future.

Peace and Happiness 🙂

What are the most common additions plaguing our families in the 21st Century?

There are many different types of addictions that people seek help for. Here are some of the most common addictions:

1.    Substance abuse: Substance abuse is one of the most common addictions that people seek help for. This includes addictions to drugs such as opioids, methamphetamine, cocaine, and alcohol. Alcohol is one of the number 1 contributors to marriage breakdown, domestic violence, road toll deaths and child abuse.

2.    Gambling addiction: Gambling addiction is another common addiction that people seek help for. This includes an uncontrollable urge to gamble, which can lead to financial problems, relationship breakdowns and other negative consequences.

3.    Internet and technology addiction: With the rise of technology and social media, internet and technology addiction has become more common. This includes an excessive use of the internet, social media, and other technology that can interfere with daily life.

4.    Sex addiction: Sex addiction involves an uncontrollable urge to engage in sexual behaviours, which can lead to negative consequences such as relationship problems, financial problems, and legal issues. Porn use is the number 1 sex addition today! Over time it stops couples from connecting, bonding being intimate and eventually not having sex together. If left untreated porn addition can lead to erectile dysfunction.

5.    Food addiction: Food addiction is characterised by an uncontrollable urge to eat, often leading to overeating, weight gain, low self-esteem and anger.

6.    Shopping addiction: Shopping addiction involves an uncontrollable urge to shop and spend money, often leading to financial problems and other negative consequences.

It is important to note that addiction can manifest in many different ways, and that there are other types of addictions that people may seek help for as well.

The sexual exploitation of women and children starts with pornography according to the WYA

The world youth alliance says child abuse starts with the use of porn!

Users become abusers When users become abusers – World Youth Alliance (

Experiencing cravings to view porn. Much like substance users report feeling strong urges to use drugs, porn addicts can experience strong urges to view porn. Becoming angry, hostile, or irritable when asked to stop using porn. Porn addicts may deny their porn viewing or be upset when loved one’s request that they stop. Users become deceitful and sneaky in their behaviours and make excuses, justifying their behaviour with statements like “what man doesn’t watch porn?” As counsellor and a therapist, I can answer that question “many men do not watch porn” a lot of men after getting married or settling down into a long-term relationship, perhaps having children, stop some of the poor behaviours they were introduced to as a teen by other males for example; drinking to excess, gambling, partying, and not looking after themselves to name just a few.
In the realm of behavioural addictions, the insidious grip of porn addiction often eludes understanding and perpetuates stigma, making its detection and resolution challenging. While debates persist about its classification, the repercussions extend far beyond individual struggles, impacting relationships and society profoundly. One of the most alarming consequences is the distressing link between porn consumption and the dehumanisation of women, fuelling a disturbing surge in domestic violence.

Porn addiction’s subtle erosion of intimacy and relational dynamics is evident in its capacity to distort perceptions of sexual encounters. As individuals indulge in pornography, they develop unrealistic expectations of intimacy and physical appearance, reducing partners to mere objects of desire. This objectification not only corrodes the foundations of healthy relationships but also fosters a culture rife with violence and exploitation.

Moreover, the escalation of porn addiction frequently intertwines with substance abuse, exacerbating the vicious cycle of harm and impeding recovery efforts. Individuals may resort to drugs or alcohol in pursuit of heightened stimulation, further compromising their mental and emotional well-being and jeopardising societal norms.

Recognising the pervasive impact of porn addiction necessitates addressing its root causes and providing comprehensive support for recovery. Beyond individual counselling, societal awareness and intervention are imperative to counter the normalisation of pornographic content and its detrimental effects on relationships and gender dynamics.

In confronting porn addiction, we confront not only personal struggles but also broader societal issues of gender inequality and violence against women. By fostering open dialogue, promoting empathy, and advocating for healthier portrayals of intimacy and sexuality, we can strive towards creating a safer, more equitable world for all. Let us embrace this conversation with courage and compassion, knowing that our collective efforts can pave the way for positive change and healing across individuals, families, and communities.

The distressing nexus between porn addiction, child abuse, and domestic violence underscores the urgent need for action. In today’s digital age, pornography’s pervasive presence not only infiltrates online platforms but also infiltrates our minds, reshaping perceptions and attitudes towards sexuality and relationships. Research reveals that pornography addiction alters brain activity akin to drug addiction, leading users to view women as objects rather than humans.

Tragically, addiction to porn often desensitises individuals, leading to a desire for increasingly deviant forms of pornography to fulfil their sexual desires. This desensitisation not only distorts reality but also increases the likelihood of users stumbling upon violent or child pornography. Shockingly, over 30% of searches on certain online networks are related to child sexual abuse, highlighting the alarming prevalence of this heinous crime. Men can become predatory, obsessed, and unpredictable. They can become dangerous to the loved one around them, they lose their ability to self-manage.

The normalisation of pornographic content perpetuates a cycle of exploitation and abuse, validating and normalising sexual violence against women and children. Treating women and children as mere objects strips them of their human dignity and violates their inherent rights. It is imperative that we confront the root causes of this exploitation, challenging societal mindsets that justify the abuse of vulnerable individuals.

By fostering awareness, promoting empathy, and advocating for stricter regulations on pornographic content, we can strive towards creating a society that respects the dignity and rights of all individuals, irrespective of gender or age. Let us stand united in our commitment to combatting porn addiction and its devastating consequences, ensuring a safer and more equitable future for generations to come.

On average, children are first exposed to porn at the age of 11, often encountering it in the school playground. However, this trend is shifting, with more instances occurring due to lax parental controls at home. In many cases, children stumble upon pornographic content while using their father’s phone or laptop, often discovering it through the browsing history.

What do I see in marriages, signs of a “porn breakdown”

Breaks Trust Secrecy

Lack of intimacy or interest in their partner

Unrealistic expectations in the bedroom

Decreased self-esteem not feeling good enough.

Not spending time with the family

Irritability and anger



Are you sick and tired of Depression, Anxiety and Panic Attacks?

Mental health challenges do not need to be a lifetime condition … 2024 can be the year for healing. Especially if it is affecting your relationships, your career and your QOL -Quality of Life.

For individuals apprehensive about their anxiety levels or their impact on daily life, consulting a mental health professional such as a counsellor, phycologist is strongly recommended.

Personally, I suffered from Anxiety and Panic attacks for years when I was much younger.

I know firsthand how debilitating it can be.

Let’s delve in

Defining Anxiety:

Normal Stress Response: Anxiety emerges as a natural response to stress or peril, often synonymous with the “fight or flight” paradigm. This elicits a cascade of physiological alterations, encompassing heightened heart rate, increased alertness, and the release of stress hormones, orchestrating the body’s preparation to either confront or evade perceived threats.

Emotional Distress: Intrinsic to anxiety are emotional components, manifesting in feelings of fear, apprehension, or dread. This emotional terrain encompasses a general sense of unease or specific concerns regarding prospective events.

Physical Symptoms: The presentation of anxiety frequently manifests in physical symptoms, including but not limited to muscle tension, restlessness, fatigue, sweating, and gastrointestinal discomfort. These manifestations are consequential to the activation of the body’s stress response.

Cognitive Components: Anxiety exerts an influence on cognitive domains, contributing to excessive worry, difficulties in concentration, and the onset of intrusive thoughts concerning potential adverse outcomes.

Variability: Anxiety levels exhibit a wide spectrum among individuals, with perceptions of stress or anxiety-inducing stimuli diverging from person to person.

What Anxiety Is Not:

Occasional Stress: Transient experiences of stress or worry in response to life’s exigencies do not necessarily signify the presence of an anxiety disorder. Significance is attributed when these transient states persist and impede daily functioning.

A Singular Experience: Anxiety is not homogenous, as individuals may manifest its manifestations distinctly, with severity demonstrating considerable variation.

Fear Rationalisation: While fear is often inherent in anxiety, it may not consistently align with the actual threat. Excessive concern regarding improbable or irrational scenarios may signal an underlying anxiety disorder Or Trauma. Being physiologically stuck in a specific event for example.

Simple Nervousness: Pre-event nervousness, such as before a presentation or examination, is a commonplace reaction and does not inherently denote an anxiety disorder. Pathological concern arises when this nervousness endures persistently and becomes overwhelming.

Always Visible: Anxiety does not invariably manifest outwardly, with some individuals undergoing intense anxiety without overt signs or symptoms. Acknowledging internal struggles is crucial, as their validity is equal to externally observable manifestations.

This comprehensive elucidation seeks to refine the understanding of anxiety, enabling the differentiation between normative stress responses and clinical anxiety disorders.

Anxiety is a multifaceted psychological and physiological response to stress, characterised by a sense of apprehension, worry, and uneasiness. It is a normal and adaptive reaction to potential threats or challenges, preparing the body and mind to respond appropriately. However, when anxiety becomes chronic, disproportionate to the situation, or interferes with daily functioning, it may indicate an anxiety disorder.

Sometimes we may need to go right back into your childhood to find the foundational triggers. Creating a new foundation through, CBT -Cognitive behavioral Therapy can be very liberating.

Reminder of Christmas Holidays

Just a quick reminder we will be closing for the Christmas break Dec 18th 2023 to January 18th 2024

Those couples who are going through the 30 days to a deeper connection program, you may need to plan your sessions in advance to make sure your dates are locked in within the next fortnight.

The 5th step on the program is the most important step please try to not miss this step before Christmas.

Brochure and Testimonials – 

Working on your Positive psychology in the open air “Ecotherapy”

Walk and Talk: now the weather is a little better for getting outdoors, we can resume Walk and Talk.
The majority of us spend our workdays indoors, often with limited opportunities to enjoy the outdoors. Engaging in a leisurely walk while conversing provides an excellent way to unwind and express your thoughts. The sessions are flexible, with the option to divide your time between a 30-minute walking and talking session and a 30-minute session at the DIPAC office.

This experience isn’t intended to be a strenuous activity; rather, it involves a gentle stroll around the Barton suburb suitable for individuals of all fitness levels. Research indicates that spending time outdoors naturally boosts energy and fosters a more positive outlook.

Let’s have a conversation in the open air.

You might be eligible for private health rebates. NDIS participants are also welcome.

Walk & Talk: Walk and talk therapy, often referred to as outdoor therapy or ecotherapy, integrates traditional talk therapy with outdoor physical activity, primarily walking. Rather than being confined to a conventional therapy room, the therapist and client hold sessions while walking in a natural setting, such as the scenic Barton suburb.

The advantages of walk and talk therapy encompass:

Physical well-being: Combining physical activity with therapy yields positive effects on physical health, including improved cardiovascular fitness, heightened energy levels, and decreased stress.

Mental and emotional well-being: Being amidst nature and engaging in physical movement can have a constructive impact on mental and emotional health. It aids in diminishing anxiety, depression, and stress, while fostering relaxation, an improved mood, and mental clarity.

Enhanced self-reflection: Walking in a natural environment sets a tranquil and contemplative ambiance, facilitating introspection about one’s thoughts and feelings. This contributes to greater self-awareness and personal development.

Heightened creativity: Exposure to natural elements outdoors can stimulate creativity and problem-solving skills. The change in surroundings and sensory input can trigger novel perspectives and fresh insights.

Therapeutic alliance: The casual and comfortable environment of walk and talk therapy fosters collaboration and equality between the therapist and client. Walking side by side, as opposed to facing each other in a conventional office, creates an informal and relaxing atmosphere that enhances the therapeutic alliance.

Connection with nature: Spending time outdoors has proven mental health benefits, including stress reduction, mood improvement, and increased feelings of connectedness and well-being. Walk and talk therapy enables individuals to directly experience these advantages, establishing a deeper connection with the natural world.

It’s important to acknowledge that walk and talk therapy might not suit everyone or all therapeutic needs. Physical limitations might prevent certain individuals from participating, while others may prefer the privacy and structure of a conventional therapy setting.

Counseling Therapy sessions last 60 minutes, while Walk and Talk Therapy offers flexibility. You can opt for a full 60-minute walk or split the session into a 30-minute therapy office session and a 30-minute outdoor segment.

Our walk can be a leisurely stroll or a brisker pace, depending on your preference.

Please note: Weather conditions permitting.