Trust is essential in a relationship. But what happens when it gets broken? How does one recover from it? Can someone really even rebuild the trust they’ve established for someone they love? No matter how hopeless it seems, trust us when we say it’s not the end. Betrayal is one of the most heartbreaking challenges any relationship can go through. But through compassionate relationship counselling and persistent effort from both parties, you may find your way back to a harmonious relationship even stronger than before.

WHAT DOES BETRAYAL MEAN?

Most would probably think of infidelity when they hear the word betrayal. However, betrayal encompasses more than that. Any decision that is made behind your partner’s back can constitute betrayal. For instance, making significant purchases against your partner’s wishes is a form of betrayal. Another example is sneaking around to gamble, drink alcohol, use drugs, or watch porn. If there is not open and honest transparency regarding behaviours, then you are betraying your partners trust. This my friend is a slippery slope and will end up in separation or a long term very unhappy relationship with your partner, family and perhaps the wider community?

Broken trust built up over time can damage your relationship significantly. Sometimes, even a single moment of betrayal can end your relationship prematurely. So if you or your partner feel the need to keep secrets, then considering relationship counselling is a must, as it can help you determine why you can’t be honest.

Types of betrayal you may not have heard of and uses Psychological manipulation-  

Gaslighting behaviour; in relationships, a person may use gaslighting to isolate their partner, undermine their confidence, and make them easier to control. For example, they might tell someone they are irrational until the person starts to think it must be true.

There may also be coercive behaviour:

• Isolating you from friends and family.
• Depriving you of basic needs, such as food.
• Monitoring your time.
• Monitoring you via online communication tools or spyware.
• Control or an attempt to control money

There are many types of betrayal, one that is not spoken about a lot but is on the increase is Inheritance hijacking.

Inheritance hijacking /gold digging etc.. is the term that describes a type of theft. It can occur when one or more people steal an inheritance that was intended to be left to someone else. This type of theft happens more often than you think. It can happen when someone steals assets not left to them in a Will or Trust. This type of behaviour can be ad hock or pre-meditated.

Now we all exhibit poor behaviours on our life continuum at one time or another. One thing is for sure, if you are pointing the finger, there are five fingers coming straight back at you most of the time.

Those couples with poor conflict resolution strategies, constantly find themselves in a tennis match or words being hit back and forth.

We all want to be heard, feel validated, and know that we matter to the person we love most. But sometimes, we have trouble voicing out what we truly want to say. And those minor hiccups lead to more significant arguments where we say things we don’t really want to. Then the vicious cycle repeats itself until we reach the point where we just don’t want to talk anymore. Does this sound familiar to you? If so, it may be time for you to consider marriage/ relationship counselling services to get to the root of the problem.

Tip: Relationship counselling is not a drop off centre to fix your partner. You both will need to be committed to the process over several weeks’ maybe months. Remember there are two sides to every story.

SIGNS YOU AND YOUR SPOUSE HAVE COMMUNICATION ISSUES

– You’re not intently listening to one another.

– Playing the blame game

– You speak before thinking.

– You only talk about what you want, not caring what the

other is dealing with.

– You keep bringing up the past

– Raising your voice

– You are degrading your spouse

– Speaking in superlatives like “you never” and “you always.”

– Always wanting to be understood first

– Not following through on what you say you are going to do

– Dismissing your partners ideas or requests

– Sneaky behaviour

– Withholding intimacy or sex as a punishment

– Stonewalling ( the silent treatment)

Do you see these signs in your marriage/relationship? It’s time for an intervention before you end up sacrificing your precious relationship.