Am I in an abusive relationship?

Mental health problems may have crept up on you and you may not have recognised the root of the problem!

Do you feel like you have lost yourself in your relationship?

Are you constantly questioning yourself and suffer low self-esteem?

When approaching day to day tasks are you second guessing yourself?

Are you lacking confidence?

Is fear or walking on egg shells a part of your day in your home environment?

Do you become anxious thinking about your partner returning home?

Has your partner’s behaviours negatively changed who you are and you now find yourself living life against your own values?

Gaslighting, is an abusive practice, instils distrust or even a belief in mental illness in its victims. The enduring ramifications of gaslighting encompass anxiety, depression, trauma, and diminished self-esteem.

Though some forms of abuse, like physical harm, are conspicuous, emotional abuse often hides in plain sight, eluding easy recognition. While apparent to outsiders, signs of emotional abuse may elude those ensnared within it.

Emotional and mental abuse manifests through controlling, isolating, or terrorising behaviours. This abuse encompasses statements, threats, or actions, often exhibiting a consistent pattern

Recognising these signs and contexts where emotional abuse thrives is pivotal in aiding victims in identifying their plight and seeking necessary assistance.

Control, a salient red flag in relationships, manifests through various behaviours such as issuing demands or orders, monitoring whereabouts, or exercising financial dominance.

Abusive individuals often employ tactics of shame induction, employing lectures, outbursts, lies, walkouts, and trivialising behaviours.

Blame, typically stemming from the abuser’s insecurities, manifests in jealousy, victim-playing, and instigation tactics.

Humiliation tactics include name-calling, sarcasm, harmful nicknames, public displays, patronising behaviour, insults on appearance, and infidelity.

Unpredictable behaviours serve to maintain control, ranging from mood swings to gaslighting tactics.

Isolation, another hallmark of abusive behaviour, includes forbidding social interactions, hiding belongings, or monopolising free time.

Coercive control, encompassing behaviours that instil fear, hurt, or restrict freedom, can manifest in various forms including physical violence, threats, insults, swearing, isolation, activity monitoring, financial control, sexual coercion, and autonomy removal.

Recognising signs of coercive control, such as assault, threats, humiliation, isolation, activity monitoring, financial control, sexual coercion, and autonomy removal, is crucial in offering support to victims.

Victims of coercive control should be empowered to seek help and resources, understanding that abuse is never acceptable in any relationship.

In a healthy relationship, both partners strive to uplift and support each other, aiding in personal growth and fulfillment. However, if the dynamics within your relationship are causing you distress, eroding your self-worth, or diminishing your sense of empowerment, it is essential to pause and reflect: “Am I in an abusive relationship?”

Seeking couples’ therapy

You never have to stay in a situation of abuse. You have the choice to leave or seek support from a therapist. A therapist will support and may recommend a pathway forward by co-ordinating other services.

If you want to salvage the relationship and your partner is committed to improvement, couple’s therapy may offer helpful options. However, couples therapy would only be beneficial after the perpetrator has participated in their own treatment, and the abuse has stopped.

“A person might have grown up in a traumatic and dangerous home,” “They may have seen coercion as an adaptive quality to achieve most of their needs. They, in turn, will use coercion unbeknownst to them. They may not feel it is coercive because it was what was modelled to them and what they always saw.” WE SAY NO MORE EXCUSES, FIX THE BEHAVIOUR… Or you will be responsible for generational trauma in your family, well beyond your years.