Betrayal and Broken Trust does not need to spell the end

Trust is essential in a relationship. But what happens when it gets broken? How does one recover from it? Can someone really even rebuild the trust they’ve established for someone they love? No matter how hopeless it seems, trust us when we say it’s not the end. Betrayal is one of the most heartbreaking challenges any relationship can go through. But through compassionate relationship counselling and persistent effort from both parties, you may find your way back to a harmonious relationship even stronger than before.

WHAT DOES BETRAYAL MEAN?

Most would probably think of infidelity when they hear the word betrayal. However, betrayal encompasses more than that. Any decision that is made behind your partner’s back can constitute betrayal. For instance, making significant purchases against your partner’s wishes is a form of betrayal. Another example is sneaking around to gamble, drink alcohol, use drugs, or watch porn. If there is not open and honest transparency regarding behaviours, then you are betraying your partners trust. This my friend is a slippery slope and will end up in separation or a long term very unhappy relationship with your partner, family and perhaps the wider community?

Broken trust built up over time can damage your relationship significantly. Sometimes, even a single moment of betrayal can end your relationship prematurely. So if you or your partner feel the need to keep secrets, then considering relationship counselling is a must, as it can help you determine why you can’t be honest.

Types of betrayal you may not have heard of and uses Psychological manipulation-  

Gaslighting behaviour; in relationships, a person may use gaslighting to isolate their partner, undermine their confidence, and make them easier to control. For example, they might tell someone they are irrational until the person starts to think it must be true.

There may also be coercive behaviour:

  • Isolating you from friends and family.
  • Depriving you of basic needs, such as food.
  • Monitoring your time.
  • Monitoring you via online communication tools or spyware.
  • Control or an attempt to control money

There are many types of betrayal, one that is not spoken about a lot but is on the increase is Inheritance hijacking.

Inheritance hijacking /gold digging etc.. is the term that describes a type of theft. It can occur when one or more people steal an inheritance that was intended to be left to someone else. This type of theft happens more often than you think. It can happen when someone steals assets not left to them in a Will or Trust. This type of behaviour can be ad hock or pre-meditated.

Now we all exhibit poor behaviours on our life continuum at one time or another. One thing is for sure, if you are pointing the finger, there are five fingers coming straight back at you most of the time.

Those couples with poor conflict resolution strategies, constantly find themselves in a tennis match or words being hit back and forth.

We all want to be heard, feel validated, and know that we matter to the person we love most. But sometimes, we have trouble voicing out what we truly want to say. And those minor hiccups lead to more significant arguments where we say things we don’t really want to. Then the vicious cycle repeats itself until we reach the point where we just don’t want to talk anymore. Does this sound familiar to you? If so, it may be time for you to consider marriage/ relationship counselling services to get to the root of the problem.

Tip: Relationship counselling is not a drop off centre to fix your partner. You both will need to be committed to the process over several weeks’ maybe months. Remember there are two sides to every story.

SIGNS YOU AND YOUR SPOUSE HAVE COMMUNICATION ISSUES

– You’re not intently listening to one another.

– Playing the blame game

– You speak before thinking.

– You only talk about what you want, not caring what the

other is dealing with.

– You keep bringing up the past

– Raising your voice

– You are degrading your spouse

– Speaking in superlatives like “you never” and “you always.”

– Always wanting to be understood first

– Not following through on what you say you are going to do

– Dismissing your partners ideas or requests

– Sneaky behaviour

– Withholding intimacy or sex as a punishment

– Stonewalling ( the silent treatment)

Do you see these signs in your marriage/relationship? It’s time for an intervention before you end up sacrificing your precious relationship.

How Can Family Counselling Help?

Our family influences our very being and moulds us into who we are today. Everything we learn from them affects how we communicate and interact with others, our habits and how we view the world. The thing is, our upbringing affects us for better or for worse. But just because your family experiences difficulties communicating and resolving conflict doesn’t mean it can’t change for the better. This is where family counselling comes in. Coupled with persistent efforts from each member, your family can develop a stronger bond and maintain a healthy relationship. Let’s explore this further below.

What is Family Therapy?

Family therapy or family counselling refers to a type of psychotherapy involving all family members. It’s designed to help family members understand and improve their relationships with one another and aid in resolving any current issues or conflicts within the family. A licensed therapist will moderate sessions for all participants, helping them communicate better and identify what needs to be changed to achieve a healthy relationship. 

Why Would Families Need Family Therapy?

There are many reasons why family therapy may be beneficial for your family. It’s important to know that it isn’t only applicable when there is a problem, as it can be used as a preventative measure too – to ensure that the family members understand what’s expected from each other, what boundaries are there and what behaviour is acceptable.  

What Issues Can Family Counselling Address?

Family therapy can be used to address a wide range of issues, including the following:

Communication Problems

Family counselling can be beneficial if your family is having difficulty communicating correctly. A professional family counsellor will help the family members learn better ways to express themselves and what they need from each other. 

Divorce

sad young girl with parents arguing in the blurred background

Dealing with a divorce can be difficult, not just for the parents involved but most especially for the children. Family therapy can help all family members learn how to cope with and adjust to the changes in the family structure, which can benefit everyone. 

Addiction

Suppose one or more family members are struggling with some form of addiction. In that case, family therapy can be beneficial to help all family members understand what’s going on, what needs to be done and what kind of support they all need. 

Changes in Family Dynamics

Are you expecting a new addition to the family? Or are you having trouble adjusting to a stepfamily? Family counselling can help address changes in family dynamics, such as the addition of a new baby or learning how to get along with a new family.

Conflict between Siblings

It’s normal for siblings to disagree from time to time. But if the disagreements get past the point of simple misunderstandings and arguments and move towards more profound resentment and even ugly altercations that cause stress to the family, intervention is needed. With family counselling, siblings can learn effective ways to resolve their conflicts healthily.

Offensive Behaviour

If one family member’s behaviour is causing issues, then family counselling can help them address what needs to be changed to improve the situation. 

Depression in Children

Children experience a myriad of strong emotions as they develop. But just because your child feels sad does not necessarily mean they are depressed. However, if it becomes persistent or starts interfering with normal daily activities, your child may suffer from depression. As a parent, you may not be equipped to handle this type of situation, but family counselling can help you understand what’s going on and how you can support your child.

Inconsistent Parenting

annoyed young girl with nagging mother in the blurred background

Suppose one or both parents have difficulty setting and maintaining boundaries with their children. In that case, family counselling can help them understand what is necessary for healthy family life.

Dealing with Death and Chronic Illness in the Family

Family counselling can help family members cope with the death of a loved one and find healthy ways to continue their lives. It can also help them manage and adjust to the changes that come along when a family member is dealing with a chronic illness. 

Types of Family Counselling 

Functional Family Therapy: This therapy focuses on developing healthy family functioning by addressing communication, problem-solving skills and relationships. 

Systemic Family Therapy: This type of therapy looks at the family as a whole unit rather than focusing on individual members. The aim is to identify patterns of behaviour within the family and understand what needs to be changed to achieve healthy family relationships.  

Narrative Family Therapy: This therapy focuses on identifying how stories and meaning are created within a family and what needs to be changed for these stories to be more helpful.

Transgenerational Therapy: This therapy looks at family relationships across different generations to identify behaviour patterns and what needs to be changed. 

Structural Therapy: This type of therapy focuses on changing family relationships with the goal of creating healthier boundaries and ways of functioning. 

Brief Strategic Family Therapy: This therapy adopts a structural framework of family systems to help improve a child or adolescent’s behavioural problems. It is done by enhancing family interactions that are presumed to affect the person’s symptoms directly.

Multisystemic Therapy: This type of therapy is a family-focused and community-based treatment that looks at the family’s environment and what needs to be changed for the family unit to function more effectively. It is mostly aimed at families with juveniles who have committed serious offences and are possibly abusing substances. 

Benefits of Family Counselling

young happy family visiting female family counsellor

Family counselling can offer so many benefits to all family members involved, including: 

Improve Communication Skills – Counselling can help family members learn better ways to communicate their needs and feelings with each other.

Strengthen Bonds – Through family counselling, family members can regain trust and strengthen the bonds between them. 

Resolving Conflict – Family counselling can help family members find healthy ways to resolve conflicts and disagreements. 

Problem-Solving – By working together, family members can learn to work through problems as a team, which is beneficial for everyone involved. 

Defining Family Roles – Counselling can help family members define what roles each person should play in the family so that everyone knows what’s expected of them.  

Developing Healthy Boundaries – Through counselling, family members learn what kind of behaviour is acceptable and what boundaries are necessary for a healthy family life.

Strengthen Your Family with Family Counselling from Professionals at DIPAC

No family is perfect, as we may all struggle with maintaining healthy relationships at times. But it doesn’t mean that we can’t do better or improve our family ties. Through effective and compassionate family counselling, you and your family can learn how to better understand and develop stronger relationships with each other. Start by taking the first step and contact us to learn more about our family counselling services.

12 Signs You May Need Relationship Counselling

It can be challenging to tell when relationship counselling is necessary. In fact, many people struggle with admitting that they need help, and it’s perfectly understandable. After all, most people believe that they should be able to handle their relationships without any outside assistance. However, this isn’t always the case. 

Relationships go through ups and downs, and sometimes couples need a little help getting through the difficult parts. If you’re wondering whether or not you need to seek counselling, take a look at the signs listed below. If more than one of these signs applies to your relationship, it may be time to seek professional help.

Why is Relationship Counselling Important?

Counselling is necessary because it can help couples get through difficult times in their relationship. It can also help couples prevent future problems by teaching them how to communicate effectively and resolve conflict constructively. In short, counselling can help improve the overall quality of your relationship.

Signs You May Need Relationship Counselling

If you’re thinking, “Do I need counselling?” it might be a good idea to consider it. But if you are looking for more signs that you should start looking for a couples counsellor, read the ones listed below. 

1. Lack of Communication

One of the most common signs that couples counselling is necessary is a lack of communication. And if you leave that problem alone, many other issues can arise from it. When that happens, your relationship can quickly spiral downwards. So if you’ve noticed that you and your partner are no longer communicating that well, it may be time to seek professional help so you can learn to communicate effectively.

With a qualified and experienced counsellor, you can learn how to communicate effectively and work together to resolve conflicts that ultimately improve your relationship. 

2. You Cease to Coexist

man and woman holding smartphones ignoring each other

If you no longer do things together or share common interests, you start spending less time together. When that happens, you begin to lead separate lives and ultimately lose interest in each other. But through counselling, you can reconnect and reignite the spark in your relationship.

3. Considering Infidelity

Being unhappy in a relationship can tempt you to look elsewhere for physical intimacy and affection. But when you reach the point of considering infidelity, this is a serious alarm bell, clearly signalling that something is wrong in your relationship.

Instead of ignoring or stamping down this negative feeling, it’s important to consider where they are coming from. Through relationship counselling, you and your partner can explore the underlying issues that urge you to cheat and work together to find a solution.

4. The Bad Times Outnumber the Good

It’s never a good sign when you have more bad times than good in your relationship. You may think about toughing it out, hoping that something will change, but nothing ever will unless you do something about it. If you find yourself feeling unhappy more often than not, counselling can help you turn things around. A counsellor can help you and your partner identify the problems in your relationship and find ways to solve them.

5. You Keep Fighting over the Same Things

Fighting is a normal part of relationships. But if you keep fighting over the same thing without reaching a compromise, you might need professional help to settle those issues. Find a better solution and reach a compromise with the assistance of a qualified professional so you can finally put those recurring conflicts to rest.

6. Changes in Intimacy

Although it’s normal for changes in intimacy to occur in a relationship, feeling frustrated or unsatisfied with the changes is a bad sign. And if you don’t resolve this problem soon enough, it can damage your connection. With therapy, you and your partner can explore the reasons behind the changes in intimacy and find ways to improve your relationship.

7. A Definite Feeling That Something is Wrong

anxious woman sitting on couch

Do you have a nagging feeling that something is wrong, but you just can’t explain it? Seek help from a counsellor so you can identify problems in your relationship and work towards resolving them. Trust your instincts because it’s highly likely that something is definitely wrong.

8. A Betrayal Has Occurred

Infidelity occurs for several reasons, but it doesn’t change the fact that trust has been broken in your relationship. And getting through this problem without counselling is next to impossible as it’s one of the most difficult challenges a relationship can go through. So, seek professional support to help you and your partner work through the pain and betrayal to rebuild trust and improve your relationship.

9. You Pretend Everything is Fine

If you’re pretending everything is fine when it’s not, it’s a sign that something is wrong in your relationship. If you’re putting on a brave face for your friends and family, but you’re really not happy, couples counselling can help. A counsellor can help you and your partner explore the underlying issues in your relationship and find ways to improve things.

10. You Want Different Things out of Your Relationship

If you and your partner want different things out of your relationship, it’s a sign that you’re not on the same page. A counsellor can help you and your partner communicate about your needs and wants so that you can find a compromise that works for both of you.

11. You Don’t Feel Supported by Your Partner

If you don’t feel supported by your partner, it’s a sign that your relationship is unbalanced. But by seeking help from a counsellor, you and your partner can better communicate about your needs so that you can find a way to feel more supported in your relationship.

12. You Want to Have a Healthy Relationship

Relationship counselling isn’t always about overcoming severe difficulties. If you’re simply looking for ways to have a healthier relationship, counselling can also help. A counsellor can help you and your partner identify the areas in your relationship that need improvement and find healthy ways to communicate and resolve conflict. You don’t have to wait until things get bad to seek couples counselling.

Seek Help from Relationship Counsellors at DIPAC

relationship counsellor talking to a couple

If you’re experiencing any of these signs in your relationship, then consider relationship counselling in Australia. At DIPAC, we offer in-office and online relationship counselling to help you and your partner improve communication, resolve conflict and build a stronger relationship. 

We are a team of highly skilled professionals who are passionate about helping our clients overcome challenges and enjoy the best parts of their relationships. So if you feel the need for professional intervention, don’t hesitate to contact us and begin the journey to a more fulfilling relationship.